Just when you think you are done, up’ed, forgiven the one who hurt you, had your ‘closure’, and walked away from regret and have let go of the what-ifs, then you hear Adele’s “Hello”.
I did NOT like this song when I first heard it. I listened to it twice, then moved on. Two days later, I started to hum the tune. Now, it is a song I am obsessed with.
“Hello, it’s me
I was wondering if after all these years you’d like to meet
To go over everything
They say that time’s supposed to heal ya, but I ain’t done much healing…
…Hello from the other side
I must’ve called a thousand times
To tell you I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done…
Hello from the outside
At least I can say that I’ve tried
To tell you I’m sorry for breaking your heart…”
To my beautiful almost-relationships – the relationships wherein I had been hurt and that relationship in which I had hurt – I remember.
I grieve for what I had lost.
I’m sorry for hurting you.
I am sorry I allowed you to be selfish, sorry I allowed you walk all over me, and hurt me. Over and over again, until I lost all of my self-respect.
I am sorry I did not fight for us, by letting you know when you hurt me and working it out, instead of bottling all of it in until it was too hard to be together.